Okay, here’s the deal.  I’ve been slammed with exams, papers, articles and quizzes all week, and I couldn’t get my Stanley Cup Playoff preview out in time.  To all five of my loyal readers, I’m terribly sorry.  At this point it’s a little late to be posting a preview, seeing as how the playoffs have already started (by the way, go Blues and Rangers!).

So yesterday while talking with one of my fraternity brothers, it became apparent to me that not nearly enough people take the time to actually watch hockey, writing it off as a sport they just choose not to understand.  As a hockey player of 16 years and an avid fan, it’s sad that Americans don’t give hockey a chance – The NHL Playoffs is arguably the most exciting postseason in professional sports, and the Stanley Cup is without question the most coveted trophy in all of athletics.  Even my housemates won’t sit down and watch the games with me.  Thankfully, I was hit with inspiration last night…

A friend of mine forwarded me the “official” Stanley Cup Playoffs drinking game.  While it was a good start, I felt it could be greatly improved with a little knowledge and a lot more drinking.  So here it is; my “official” 2012 Stanley Cup Playoffs Drinking Game.

Drink once if:

– A goal is scored

-Home ice advantage is mentioned

-Pierre McGuire gets giddy over something, or mentions he coached/scouted a certain player

-The Florida Panthers playoff drought is mentioned

-A penalty is committed

-Icing is called

-A play is called offsides

-Sidney Crosby is mentioned during a game he’s not participating in

-Don Cherry’s suit is incredibly tacky, but you secretly wish you had one like it

-Dan Bylsma and Peter Laviolette get into another shouting match

-Bad blood between the competing teams is mentioned

-A “Because it’s the Cup” commercial comes on

-Roberto Luongo’s ability or toughness is questioned (Bonus Drink if he gets pulled for Cory Schneider)

Drink twice if:

-Mike Milbury makes a backhanded or condescending comment (Bonus Drink if the “Shoe Incident” is referenced)

-Ovechkin/Crosby/Malkin scores a goal

-Overtime is forced

-Doc Emrick uses any of the following phrases/words: “Caught in the goalie’s paraphernalia,” “DRIVE(s),” “Knifed,” or “Squibbed.”

-A goalie makes an incredible save (apply at your own discretion, as a goalie myself I apply this rule quite liberally)

-Zdeno Chara looks awkward on his feet, yet makes a great defensive play

-Someone gets laid out (Bonus Drink if it starts a fight)

-Pavel Datsyuk dangles

-A goal is waved off

-The Eastern Conference one-seed curse is mentioned

-An empty-net goal is scored

Drink three times if:

-Pierre McGuire says “Go have fun out there” to someone he’s interviewing

-A hatrick is scored

-A five minute major is assessed

-The “Ryane Clowe interference” is mentioned

-John Tortorella goes on yet another rant

-The Panthers lose a one-goal game

-A shorthanded goal is scored

-Any announcer fumbles with a player’s last name (Bonus Drink if Doc Emrick mispronounces “Lucic”)

-Doc Emrick adds a “y” to a player’s name (i.e. Timmy Thomas)

-An overtime goal is scored

Drink away if:

-A brawl occurs

-A team celebrates after a goal

-A player is shown crying

-The glass shatters

-A goalie goes all Ray Emery on an opponent or ref

If you don’t usually partake in puck watching, this should make hockey a bit more interesting for you.  Good luck to your teams, and enjoy the playoffs!

*Editorial Note: Be safe.  It’s not my fault if you decide to be a pucking idiot (see what I did there) and drive after playing the “Official” 2012 NHL Playoff Drinking Game.  Be smart, moderate the drinking, and have fun!